Monthly Archives: February 2012

You Down With O.P.P? Well actually, no…

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I was listening to Naughty By Nature’s “O.P.P” recently. If you don’t know, the song discusses meddling with people who are already involved in relationships. It’s really about men being with another guy’s girl but since I am woman I thought about other scenarios. Eventually I found myself wondering why would a woman willingly play the role of the other woman?

Back in the day I used to think wives and girlfriends outnumbered the “other women”. I thought this way because I figured that not many people wanted to play the role. They were awful women whose numbers were few. Well, few when compared to the “legit” women. Eh…wrong thinking, clearly. I’m now realizing that “other women” are in abundance. They are our coworkers, our bosses, our classmates, our hairdressers, our family members…you get my drift. I actually have quite a few friends who have played the role before, which leads me to wonder what in the hell does that say about me? You know…birds of a feather and all that jazz….anyway, that is another discussion for another day, lol.

Someone actually explained to me that her reasoning was simple, she would never seek a man who is involved, but if he chased her then it was not her responsibility to care about whatever was going on at home. i.e she didn’t give two hoots about his main woman. All right. Fair enough. It really isn’t your responsibility to care about them, or her, but what about yourself??? Am I the only one who sees the flaw in that?

Here is my thing. I respect respect. I respect honour and loyalty. I respect the sanctity of marriage. I respect myself! I want the best for myself and in no way, shape or form, can a man that doesn’t respect his relationship or the promise he made with someone when he decided to enter into a monogamous relationship with her be right for ME. That kind of man is fickle, selfish and untrustworthy. I don’t want any part in someone like that. So that is the first part of it.

Second of all, I’m a scaredy cat. STDs are going around like the flu. Why would I willingly be involved with someone who PROVES that they are not monogamous. Before anyone bites my head off with “but the boyfriend you think is monogamous doesn’t have to be, and you can get a disease from him too”…please stop. I know this. But you know what? If he gives me something, I can bite his head off because he shouldn’t have been doing a thing with anyone else. If my otherwise occupied partner passes something to me well then in a  way I’d think I sort of had it coming. If he cheats with you then ahm…what would stop him from cheating on you too, boo?

Third and last…I am lazy. There, I said it. I don’t like extra work. I don’t like going the extra mile. I don’t do operations and scheming. I just can’t be bothered. I don’t do well with having to think back and cover tracks. Oh…can’t call him at 5 p.m because he might be in the car with her, so I’ll wait until after 11 when I know she’s asleep. Or you know, he will have to call me. Must private my number before placing the call as well. No no no. I just can’t. I like being all willy nilly about things.

I really believe that there are still respectful, trustworthy, GOOD men out there and I am willing to wait on one of those men, rather than go be with someone else’s Romeo. Perhaps the difference between people like me, and “other women” is that people like me are comfortable enough being single for as long as it takes to find our own gem, while “other women” would rather take anything and play second fiddle than wait for something for themselves. Oh well *shrug* If anyone cares to break it down for me please be my guest.

War Against the Kitchen

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I don’t enjoy cooking. When I was younger (as if I’m that old, ha!) I was really of the mindset that I didn’t need to learn how to cook. My mother tried, but it was just not happening. I took no interest in it. I really thought I could do restaurants, take-out, and tin food all my life. Of course, people often asked “but what about your husband?”….uh….if my husband wants a nice, healthy, home-cooked meal then he better be prepared to cook it himself! He knows how to cook, right? No man was going to demand or expect ME to go in any kitchen! Yes people…I really thought like this.

I blame this irrational thinking on two things. 1) Cooking the Jamaican way seems TEDIOUS. I mean, really. Season the meat for hours on end, brown it, then fry it then this, then that. It just seems like it involves way too much. 2) I had the idea that modern women slaving away in the kitchen was, somehow, a tad bit archaic.

No Bueno

I am happy to report that coming to Japan has really kicked some sense into me. I realized today that I have gone from buying bentos (packaged meals) and Hotto Motto (popular food chain with relatively healthy options) from five or six times a week to maybe one or two. That is BIG folks, BIG! Now, while I still do not enjoy cooking ( I don’t think I’ll ever get to that point) I have a new found appreciation for the skill.

First of all, I think it’s important to be able to prepare healthy meals for yourself. Point blank, period. If we don’t love and take care of our own bodies, who will? Second, I’m really getting into this whole “becoming-the-woman-that-a-man-will-be-proud-to-have-as-his-wife” thing, and the idea of being able to provide a delicious meal for my husband and family, for both health and comfort, just tickles me quite honestly. Now while I am nowhere near the expertise of the typical Jamaican woman (I reference our women a lot because as I said, our food preparation is pretty intricate), I am taking baby steps in the kitchen. I realize that cooking doesn’t have to be that hard. It might not impress my Jamaican folks who are used to their oxtail and rice and peas or their stewed peas and pigstail, but hell, my oregano pork chops with steamed veggies and white rice is quite fine by me, thank you very much!

Yum (even the slightly burned ends)

I don’t think I’ll ever get to top chef status, but as long as my food has some decent flavour, I’m good. I’m no longer afraid of or entirely disgusted by the kitchen.

Now I just need to stop using the same spices over and over and over so that all my meats don’t taste the same, lol.